Thoughts - filtered through the sieve
Getting that itch to write a philosophical post. Maybe also because my birthday was around the corner and I cannot help but make a list. Of thoughts, things, and my musings.
Travel - I increasingly feel that I live in a silo. I read only particular books (despite the efforts to include writers from different ethnicity, backgrounds, countries, languages, and genres in my reading list). I watch only a section of movies that are released each year, which are mostly filtered down to me through big-time film enthusiasts I follow on Twitter. I consume 0 news or related media. Whatever 1-2% I consume is mostly again a filtered stream and aggregation of people I follow on social media. On a regular basis I 'hang' with people from a particular strata. Even my closest friends are from similar societal, financial backgrounds. Of course, we speak different languages and grew up in different parts of the world. But you know what I mean, right?
The only exception to this is when I am traveling, despite my propensity to avoid it for the discomfort it causes. It flattens the world and exposes me to people, weather, and cultures I would have otherwise imagined while reading a book or never given a thought to. Whether it's meeting a 60-year-old dancer on the train to Salzburg and noting down her recommendations for the city. Or, listening to a middle-aged Marathi Kaku (aunty) who manages her home, farm, and resort while serving and taking care of her guests. Travel has made me connect with people at a very different level. This has not had an impact on me as a person. I think. Yet. But it has been educational. 2016 has been exceptionally good to me in terms of travel. I hope the trend continues. With respect to finding time to travel and the means to make it happen in the material world, where money is required. Which brings me to the next thing on my mind.
Time and wait - All through my 20s I struggled with being patient for something and then not being patient for the same thing. At times I chose to be patient for the wrong reasons and things never worked out. At times it worked out really well. But what I have learned over the years is, waiting is hardly a good strategy. Few things for eg. progressing in a career, becoming fit enough for running a marathon in under 5 hours or even finding the right person to spend your life with take time. But the preparation for them usually starts in the now. Earlier this year, I ran a marathon. I was not there physically when I registered for the race. Mentally I just felt like I could be there. Post 4 months of grueling and dedicated training, I arrived at the same conclusion. I was mentally there. Physically being there was going to be a long journey. One would rather argue that why to go through all the pain if I knew this already? But that's not the point. My point is if I had not started I would not have known what it takes and whether I am willing to do it. Knowing by trying something out rather than waiting has felt rewarding to me. Taking that leap and traveling to places without worrying much about planning and money has made me really good with my expenses and account keeping. I have faltered at times, but mostly I have learned. I have become more thoughtful. Which brings me to the next thing on my mind.
Being Conscious - Over the last few years I have questioned a lot of choices I make, whether it comes to the food I eat, clothes I wear, luxuries I seek, etc., etc., and the decisions I make. It has made me conscious of the impact my decisions end up having, not only on me but people close to me, my surroundings, my environment, my home etc. I am still learning to not do a lot of things on autopilot. Rather think through even the smallest of decisions. It is a lot of work at times. But I am glad I have chosen this path. It has led me to declutter my life and my physical spaces. I still am guilty of hoarding a few material possessions, but largely I am moving toward a lifestyle of less. And the less I need or feel the need for the more I feel the following.
Gratitude - I have wondered about this state of being grateful for a long time. I have even tried to write about it. On some days I have absolutely nothing. But lately, on most days, I find myself fascinated, curious, and largely amazed by what the world has to offer. Even on hopeless days, when things feel like they are falling apart. It still is not an organic reaction or a part of me. But I am increasingly grateful. It has gone beyond just the people, work, and choices in my life. It is more than that. Coming from a place I still cannot describe or put a finger on. But I am grateful.
